


After Lifeless Years

by TheSightlessSniper



Series: Recovery [5]
Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Adult Ciel Phantomhive, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, CW: Rape recovery, Falling In Love, M/M, Out of Character, Romance, Sebastian Has A Heart, There's demon stuff in here too, and a weird concept I had sitting in my head for a while, tw: rape recovery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-17
Updated: 2020-08-17
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:42:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25960774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSightlessSniper/pseuds/TheSightlessSniper
Summary: There had been a moment where he thought it wouldn’t stick; Ciel had gasped, taken aback by the volume and the suddenness of it as it splashed across his hand and cheek. But then their eyes had connected, and he knew that his master was seeing him.Not him.The final part of 'Recovery'.
Relationships: Sebastian Michaelis/Ciel Phantomhive
Series: Recovery [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/582148
Comments: 11
Kudos: 87





	After Lifeless Years

**Author's Note:**

> It's only taken...several years. But I finally finished it! And to say it was an effort was an understatement. I think I started it about six times and scrapped it before getting to this one!
> 
> Ciel is at a late stage in his recovery process here, so this will be very different to the previous fics. There will be much more sexual content, and - as with all of my SebaCiel fics involving consensual sexual content - Ciel is an adult here, and very much in control of his own actions. If any of this makes you deeply uncomfortable or may trigger uncomfortable or traumatising memories for you, please click off the fic right now - I will not be offended by this!
> 
> For those of you who feel happy to read, I hope you enjoy the fic, and would very much appreciate a comment if you enjoyed it!

It was as they took a stroll through the gardens of the manor that Ciel realised just how comfortable he was in Sebastian’s presence.

The butler towed behind him a little, cradling a stray cat in his arms and stroking down the furry beast’s back with his gloved fingertips, eyes that would have turned to hearts if it were possible.

As a demon, he did wonder whether it was possible.

He slowed, walking in tandem next to the demon and staring at the animal curled against the breast of his coat. ‘For an animal that causes me to sneeze and itch, I do have to say that they have rather charming faces.’

Sebastian’s lip quirked. ‘They’re luxurious, young master.’ He paused, stopping in the middle of the path and turning to face him. ‘…If I could…may I try something?’

Despite his curiosity, Ciel nodded, watching as Sebastian looked from side to side for observers before leaning forward and quickly pressing his lips to his.

The old fearfulness didn’t come.

As they broke apart, Ciel felt the touch of fur against his hands, and he looked down to the small cat who was being placed in his embrace. He ran his nose across the purring creature’s head, breathing in and grinning. ‘I didn’t know you could also rid me of my allergies. I would have asked you long ago to do that with my allergy to that plant Mey-Rin keeps in the billiard room.’

‘Alas, my lord, the effect is temporary,’ Sebastian sighed, carefully taking the feline back into his grip, ‘I can create a barrier. I can’t rid you of your allergies entirely.’

Ciel smirked as they began walking again, glancing around to check nobody else was in earshot as he said the next words. ‘Oh. So was that merely an excuse to steal a kiss from your master?’

Sebastian turned, letting the cat hop out of his arms and away into the bushes. ‘How perceptive of you, my lord.’

The contact was becoming easier day by day.

The young man was moaning, not from fear, but against his mouth as they danced towards their location together. Stood at the foot of the bed, the door locked tight and all curtains drawn, his master tugged at the tie and the shirt, growling. ‘Bloody buttons…’

Sebastian grinned into the next kiss. His master had initiated the contact following his evening bath, his eyes having lingered on him throughout. He could already feel the faint rub against his leg, the cautious shift of hips forward, and then it was there; his master was aroused, and seeking relief without apparent reservation.

And being merciful, Sebastian aimed to put him out of his misery. Deft fingers popped each button open, unknotting the tie with a tug on the fabric length. The smooth skin of his chest, peppered with some sparse, slightly coarse hairs—Sebastian had caught him playing with the smooth layer that covered his arms and legs during a cuddling session one evening—appeared from under the fabric, and almost immediately his master’s hands shot up to his lapels to push the shirt down his biceps.

They’d made so much progress in the weeks leading to that moment. After the stumble, it had been a long while before they had been able to try again. Weeks, a month, two had passed, then finally it happened one morning; as the sun began peeking through the gaps in the top of the curtains, Ciel had clambered atop him and proceeded to gyrate and rub the morning erection he had awoken with against his clothed belly. It had been quick, over in a scant minute and a half, but the look of ecstasy on his face as his eyelids fluttered and his slim hips stuttered had been like nothing he had ever experienced. That one occurrence gave way to another, and just a few short weeks later, Sebastian had almost lost control over his human veil as a smooth hand had grasped his own stiffness and brought him to a shuddering orgasm.

There had been a moment where he thought it wouldn’t stick; Ciel had gasped, taken aback by the volume and the suddenness of it as it splashed across his hand and cheek. But then their eyes had connected, and he knew that his master was seeing him.

Not _him_.

The stiff peak under the bottom of his master’s nightshirt slipped past the half-unbuttoned edges, peeking out and revealing a reddening tip that left a damp trail up the trousers of his butler uniform. Ciel moaned again. ‘Sebastian…’

‘Young master, may…ah…may I—‘

‘Touch me. Touch me, please.’

Pecking his lips, Sebastian gazed down into the lust-drunk blue eyes as his hand trailed down. His gloves had long disappeared, discarded to the base of the bed with his shoes and tie, and he gasped with Ciel as his bare fingertips circled the base of his master’s erection and rolled up towards the weeping head.

The earl’s mouth fell wide open, a whine catching in his throat. ‘Hahhhnn—‘

‘If you need me to stop—‘

‘I know, I know, please don’t stop not now don’t stop—‘

‘You’re breathtaking, young master.’

‘Sebastian—‘

‘Come…come with the touch of my hand, my lord. Feel it—‘ He didn’t get to finish; Ciel jerked upwards into his hand, immediately spilling thick spurts of white against his palm. The corners of his mouth tilted up, lips open and eyelids quivering over unfocused irises.

Words he had always loathed threatened to escape, and it was Sebastian’s turn to be fearful.

Ciel felt the quake of his fingers as he let go. The butler’s eyes were wider than teacup saucers, fearful as they glanced from the come-coated hand that was suddenly grasping at the patch of skin on his ribs that should have housed a heart to the floor below.

Breath steadying, Ciel reached a hand forward. ‘Sebastian?’

The sting of rejection as the butler pulled away from him was like a smashing glass in the middle of the night, a shockwave. What had he done?

Sebastian looked back up to him, head shaking. ‘I don’t feel it.’

‘…W-what don’t you feel?’

‘It’s gone. The…it’s gone.’

‘Se…Sebasti—‘

Black tears seeped out from under the demon’s eyelids, mouth still open in shock. ‘Forgive me, my lord…I appear to have…it seems that—‘

He couldn’t take it. Ciel reached forward, his own tears threatening to fall. ‘Sebastian, please just tell me.’

‘I don’t hunger for your soul anymore. My lord…young master, I lo—‘ he swallowed— ‘I love you.’

His heart raced. His hearing was failing, he was sure. Ciel stepped closer, fingers touching to those on the demon’s stomach.

He didn’t flinch away this time, but the tears kept coming. ‘In my entire existence, I believed that I couldn’t feel this. And now I do…it’s pain. It’s aching and it just wants to come out.’

Sebastian sank down onto the end of the bed, hand still clutched over his ribs, and Ciel followed, pressing their foreheads together. The tips of their noses touched, an almost electric feeling running through him, and his head tilted of its own accord to envelope Sebastian in a burning kiss.

Their bodies skittered up the bed, chasing each other as they pulled away and pushed back together. Ciel clambered atop the demon, fingers shoving the shirt down his back and away, before tending to his own. A sting of fear rushed through him as he let the cuffs fall away from his arms. He was going to have sex with Sebastian. He was going to have sex. He was in control, and he could withdraw his consent at any time and yet it was still terrifying. He’d seen Sebastian, felt the hot weight of his length throbbing against his palm as he came, felt and counted each inch as it had slipped passed his fingers. Sebastian wasn’t small, and suddenly he seemed even bigger, too big to fit even with the aid of stroking fingers and oil to ease the way.

As if he sensed it, the butler’s hands reached for his, finally snapping out of his daze. ‘Don’t fret, young master…I won’t hurt you. I won’t, I refuse to hurt you. I love you.’

Below the spread of his straddling hips, Sebastian’s legs parted.

The message took a moment to register in his master’s eyes.

He smiled softly back as the young man caught onto the suggestion, helping him to pull off the rest of his butler attire. An already stiff length came into view as he kicked away the trousers, slapping down against the flat of his lower abdomen and groin. The hand that had only recently been able to touch him back without flinching skated upwards, a single finger running back down, around the base, before halting behind his testicles.

The young man’s bit his lip. ‘Sebastian…I don’t know how to…’

Understanding, Sebastian reached for the drawer nearest to him, the massage oils coming into view as it slid open. He pulled out the nearest one, pushing it into one of his master’s waiting hands. ‘This should ease the way.’

As he listened to the slosh of the bottle’s contents, waited with baited breath as the first slicked-up finger slipped inside him, Sebastian stared to the canopy overhanging the bed. The agonising hunger for a taste of his master’s soul was dead, the contract was null and void; that fatal hidden clause he had left in for himself to never fall in love was mocking him cruelly. How wrong he had been. The pain had been swept away, and instead the heartache—the loneliness of love even though his love was right there before him—almost broke him into another bout of tears.

Ciel was too far away, not close enough to kiss or touch.

The finger inside him crooked.

The power that was in a single finger.

As he hooked it towards the front of Sebastian’s body, stroked the pad of the tip against a bundle of nerves he couldn’t see, the demon’s hips rose off the bed, chased the intrusion with a gasp and a moan. Penetration was still a limit he hadn’t crossed, wasn’t even sure if he could cross, but as he watched Sebastian’s hands fly behind his head to claw at the velvet head of the bed, he was fascinated. Could it really feel like anything less than the agony he’d known?

Sebastian took his fingers in easily; the second was swallowed up, the third taking a moment or two to push through before joining it. The nasal whine for more, the twitch and bounce of the thick erection lying up his butler’s belly renewed a desire to see what would happen when someone entered him. Would it be different with Sebastian?

The fingers slid out. Reaching for the oil, Ciel’s hands were suddenly tapped away, overtaken by Sebastian’s. The soft hands passed over his own newly-awakened erection from base to tip, rubbing the oil sensually into the skin until it was satisfactorily slicked. The sheets below them were drenched in it, the bottle having spilled and tipped, but he couldn’t care less as he positioned himself at the prepared entrance—

_‘—oh yeah, bleed for me, little boy—‘_

‘Young master.’ Before the vision could overtake, Sebastian was already sat up, cradling his face and kissing his cheeks. ‘You’re not there. You’re not there.’

He wasn’t there, in the circle. He was in his bed chamber, with his butler. He was face-to-face with a demon who had fallen for him. He wasn’t _there_.

Ciel looked into the eyes flashing with magenta sparks, took in the too-soft lips and the perfectly—manufactured age lines. He had accidentally entranced this beautiful creature of darkness, his saviour in the darkest of times, and knew that it was true.

’I love you too.’

The words, spoken against his lips as the length impaled him, stopped the breath in his throat and stilled his chest. The echoes rebounded again and again, bouncing through his ears and into his brain as he was breached. Sebastian burned, his mind screaming silently into the void outside of the atmosphere for the universe to hear, the stars aligning as his body became one with that of his master.

Inexperienced hips moved shakily, stuttering and losing rhythm in the first few thrusts. But then he found his footing, the beat only he could hear guiding him, and Sebastian’s hands found and caressed Ciel’s face. Their eyes stayed locked on one another, tears slipping down Ciel’s flushed cheek as they moved in synchronicity. Everything had been building up to this; every slide of fingers against skin, every forbidden kiss, every act inappropriate for a butler and a master to share had led them down this path to intimacy. Everything suddenly felt so inevitable, as if they were fulfilling an ancient prophesy written in the stars in ages past. Nothing had ever felt so right than to have Ciel between his thighs, leaning down to kiss him between thrusts, wrapping long limbs around his waist with authority to try and reach deeper inside him.

No soul had ever tasted as sweet as this shared victory. Sebastian felt as if he could collapse in upon himself, implode like a dying star as the sensation built further and further. He cursed in several languages, claws suddenly springing free and tearing at the pillow and the sheets and his own head, and he gasped loudly each time Ciel’s length stroked over his prostate. He had spent a considerable amount of time in questioning, musing over whether Ciel simply would not be interested in his body. There had even been moments in their attempts where he had asked himself whether he should change to take on a more typical feminine form, taken time to experiment late one night to make his length recede into his body and form a uterus, a vulva, fleshy labia folds that swelled with arousal and dampened with stimulation with no artificial intervention. He’d let his chest grow, breasts protruding with sensitive pink nipples and silken flesh, flicked at them, stroked in circles around his newly-made clitoris and brought himself to orgasm with his new body parts. The body would have worked wonderfully, would have been pleasurable for him too, and he’d offered the option to his master, but he had turned it down. ‘In spite of what has been done to me…I cannot imagine myself bedding anything that doesn’t have a cock between its thighs, Sebastian.’

The vulgarity and bluntness had pulled a laugh out of him at the time, but he was grateful for the confession. Lizzie did not have what Ciel wanted, and—in this time—would not ever have what he wanted. There was no need to see her as any competition for Ciel’s affections anymore.

His master was getting close. He could feel him already, the demonic senses picking it up even before Ciel himself. That sensation of blood throbbing through the veins of his erection, the fluttering as his hips started to stutter...Sebastian could feel it all with the stroking against his prostate and more, and it came as no surprise when Ciel’s thrusts faltered, stalled, and then hips slammed up against his cheeks as his entire body shuddered against him. Ciel moaned loud, lips seeking his as his eyes squeezed shut, and Sebastian delighted in the sudden flood of warmth and wetness as he came inside, pulsating and stuttering and holding him tight against him.

Sebastian was still hard, hadn’t come as Ciel softened and slid out of him, close enough to orgasm to be disappointed. But the disappointment didn’t last for long.

As he slipped free of Sebastian, marvelling as his come seeped then gushed out after him, his heart raced for entirely wonderful reasons. He had finally made it, finally broken past that barrier. It was just once, and that it didn’t mean the memories would not overwhelm him in future encounters, but in the thick buzz of loving words and orgasmic fog, he looked down to Sebastian’s still-stiff cock and salivated. The leaking length, dripping and twitching sporadically, suddenly looked like a delicious treat.

The hunters had forced him to do this, stretching his mouth and slapping and slicing his skin with a knife when he’d tried to bite down. The memory made him swallow, shudder, but he stayed in the present. The hunters were dead. They couldn’t hurt him. They would not stop him feeling pleasure. They wouldn’t not stop him giving it either. _You’re fucking dead, and you can’t hurt me anymore_.

The renewed determination made him braver. Ciel leaned down and forward, mouth opening as he went. Sebastian’s pink tip leaked more onto his tongue as he took it between his lips, and the resulting noise his butler made was one he had only ever heard once before, and when he shouldn’t have. Mey-Rin must have thought she was being discreet about the entire thing, waiting until everyone else had gone to bed to sit against the library shelves and slip a hand between her thighs to the filthy words of the scandalous pornographic novel. He had only later seen the book’s contents—a memoir full of graphic descriptions of two men in the throes of ecstasy at almost every page—but he remembered the sound she had made when he’d overheard; high-pitched, nearly helpless, at the crossroads between a whimper, a gasp, a squeal, and a moan, oblivious to his presence as he had walked in during a bout of insomnia. He’d walked back out immediately, leaving her to her own devices; he hadn’t wanted to hear her moan his butler’s name as she came, as he knew she would. Mey-Rin had always liked Sebastian, and failed miserably at hiding it.

A wave of possessiveness washed over him, clung to him. She couldn’t have Sebastian. Sebastian loved him. He loved Sebastian, and he lathed his tongue up and down Sebastian’s length, staking silent claim to his demon. He wondered how she might react if she could see them. Would she battle with jealousy and arousal? And if she did, which would win?

Sebastian writhed at his ministrations, another whine and a gasped laugh pouring out of his throat as his legs fell open even wider. He babbled more, moaned his name, whimpered his real name to the canopy above their heads, begged for him to fill him with his fingers and his cock all over again. The butler’s human guise fell away, bit by bit the pale arms and legs darkening into soot-skinned, leathery, clawed limbs, a dark aura enveloping both of them. Inky tendrils caressed his face and brushed hair out of his eyes and thumbed around the lips that were wrapped around the tentacular length. Ciel only ever seen his form like this once, when they had first formed the contract, and only briefly; as soon as the contract had been sealed, that burning of the mark into his eye and Sebastian’s hand binding them, Sebastian had quickly morphed into the creature that everyone knew as being ‘simply one hell of a butler’, in all his handsomeness and air of mystery. But while the form was frightful and not of this world, he took comfort in its strangeness and in the way that it swallowed everything—even the light—like the thing that would one day be known as a black hole.

It ended in an instant. Sebastian’s demonic head fell back, mouth full of long fangs and an even longer tantalising and devilish tongue, and a drawn-out, thunderous howl came out. Ciel coughed, choked as his mouth suddenly filled with Sebastian’s seed. The quantity was staggering, spilling out of the side of his mouth in absurd volume, but he kept swallowing, choking back as much of it as he could; Sebastian tasted nothing like the salty, slightly slimy mess that he’d had once pushed into his mouth after performing fellatio on him. He tasted like syrup-sweet nectar, delicious and indulgent.

He allowed Sebastian to draw his body down into an embrace as he came down, their mouths seeking each other in the darkness of the dawn. He tasted different as a demon; sweet and rich like dark, sticky treacle, exuding the same syrupy mesh of flavours as the ejaculate Ciel had just swallowed. Maybe his blood tasted sweet too, like molasses, or honey, but he didn’t care to find out, had no energy to ask.

The demonic body morphed slowly back into that of his sweat-drenched naked butler, the glowing black aura receding, and as the first light came and lit the room with its pale blue and yellow glow, Ciel drifted to sleep wrapped up in his lover’s arms, content.

‘I want to fake my death.’

The words stunned Sebastian almost enough to make him drop the teacup he had been passing to him.

When they had awoken that morning, they had taken a bath together while the servants had still been asleep. With the door locked firmly behind them, they had lain together under the water for a long time, hand clasped in hand and bodies firmly pressed together after washing away the filth from the previous night. The physical evidence of their tryst was gone, but the effects remained in wonderful ways, like how Ciel had kissed him freely, had pushed their bodies together and fondled his flesh under the water, danced his fingertips over his flaccid length in a teasing fashion. If it hadn’t been for Ciel’s need to be ready for a business meeting with a potential client, Sebastian would have happily spread his legs and taken Ciel inside him all over again, delighted in the pleasure served to him by the man he served. The idea he may never be able to penetrate him was of no concern; his master had made such quick work of learning what had made him moan from the inside. He would be perfectly content receiving for the rest of their days if that was what it came to.

The business meeting went well. Ciel secured a partnership with a new client, and was about to work on several new Funtom products, so the sudden statement that he wanted to fake his own death was something of a curveball.

Ciel seemed to already know what he wanted to ask. ‘I want to leave everything behind. Unlike you, I won’t live forever, and I would very much like to spend the rest of my days in peace, with you, somewhere hidden away from the rest of the world.’

‘My lord, I don’t think there is anywhere that we can live freely. The world does not take well to homosexual congress.’

Ciel smirked. ‘Then take me to a deserted island. Take me to the polar points of the world.’ The smirk softened, the fingers of one hand drifting over a map of the world lying across his desk. It had been a tool used by the client to tell him where the products would eventually end up, but now it was more; a cosmic prison, with tiny patches of false freedom. The smirk morphed into a sad smile. ‘Take me to a place where I can love the demon who loves me without fear of losing him.’

Sebastian put down the cup, gazed between him and the map. There was nowhere on Earth where they would always be safe. That left one option. ‘What if I took you to a place where we can gaze down on this world like it was a moving illustration in a book?’

Ciel frowned. ‘Are you talking about the moon, Sebastian?’

He chuckled. ‘No, my lord. There is a place between the mortal world, Heaven, Hell, and even Purgatory. Some refer to it as a void, and fear the emptiness. But it is a place of opportunity, where we can live in a place of our own design and making.’ He rounded the desk, cupped Ciel’s cheek in his palm. ‘We may encounter other demons, the Seven Sins incarnate occasionally as they pass through, but we would not have to be with others unless you wish to be.’

Ciel wrapped his hand around his, tilted and kissed his gloved palm. ‘…And when I die?’

Sebastian frowned, closed his eyes. ‘Please don’t make me think of that day, my lord.’

‘I am human, Sebastian. It will be something we will have to face eventually.’

‘Unless I make you like me.’

Ciel’s hand gripped his tighter, stilling. ‘…You can make me a demon?’

‘Yes.’

Ciel’s hand let his go, pulling away from the hand at his face. His nose wrinkled in irritation. ‘…You never thought to tell me this before?’

‘I never believed that we would want to spend the rest of our lives together. It seemed fruitless to tell you. In any case, the process is…not pleasant.’

Ciel leaned back in the chair, face relaxing before settling into another frown. ‘What does it entail?’

‘…There are several ways, and only three that I know how to do. I could take you to the altar where we first met, where you summoned me.’ His hand dropped to the point on Ciel’s chest, the position matching the slice once made into the body of the man’s twin. ‘I would have to cut into you here, mirror the…torture that you experienced. And then you would have to summon me again, and ask me to make you a demon.’

Sebastian remembered the first call Ciel had made, Ciel’s blotted-out memories of himself as a ten-year-old boy on the brink of death lying in his brother’s blood, the filth and fluids of his captors pooling around his hands and head and between his thighs. They were memories that had come up again, intertwined themselves with the memories of the second kidnapping, ones which Ciel had been reluctant to recall at all until he realised that he would need to process both events to reach a place of healing. To put him through such a thing again—to rape him in place of the beastly cult who had done it the first time around—was something he outright refused to do.

He shuddered, lifting his hand back to his master’s chin. ‘I couldn’t do that to you. I would sooner every cell in my body be destroyed and banished from this plane of existence before forcing myself upon you.’

‘The other ways?’

‘Suicide, but you would likely be resurrected as a Reaper before I could retrieve your record from their headquarters and resurrect you myself.’

Ciel looked back at him, crestfallen, his hand going to his wrist and stroking the underside. ‘And the third?’

‘I would…I would have to consume and regurgitate your infected soul back into your body. But the process would be agony. You would feel like you’re burning, being frozen at the same time, like you’re drowning in acid and gasping in poison. Every nerve in your body will fire off and cause you inconceivable pain. You will resent me for putting you through it, my lord. You will want to die.’

His head drooped, his shoulders shaking. And then Ciel lifted it again, chuckling and shaking his head back at him. The hand that had been fondling Sebastian’s wrist moved up to his forearm, pulled him down to his level and kissed him. ‘You would be gifting me with an eternity in your arms. I have wanted to die many times before, but only now have I ever wanted to die to live again.’ Ciel kissed him again. ‘We will do this tonight, in my chamber. And then you will take me to the void you speak of.’

Sebastian’s eyebrows rose, then he smirked. ‘Is that an order, my lord?’

‘Oh good, I wasn’t sure you had picked up on that.’ Ciel grinned, rubbed nose against nose. ‘Tonight, my love.’

‘Tonight.’

The first thing he noticed when Sebastian led him outside for the first time was how easy it was to breathe.

He had grown out of childhood asthma, but when the weather was heavy, or a little too cold, it would rear its head again, make him cough and wheeze and choke. But even with the weight of a coming thunderstorm in the air, he breathed easy, could smell the faint odour of pine from the forests and the smoke from London’s permanent industrial smog.

He caught his reflection in the window, his eyes flashing magenta and violet and crimson blinking back at him. ‘Do you think that Bard, Mey-Rin, Finny, Tanaka, everyone…do you think they’re all going to be alright?’

‘You have left them in the hands of Miss Midford now. I’m sure she will care for them until their dying days.’ Sebastian’s voice sounded different, notes he couldn’t hear before shining through. His voice was an orchestra now, wonderful and warm and echoing like choruses of notes rebounding from a cathedral’s walls. ‘Did you tell her of us, my lord? In your letter?’

Ciel sniffed the air. Blood. Wet fur. Something—a stray cat—just killed a rodent in one of the hedges on the grounds. He shook his head. ‘No. I told her only why I chose to take my life, and that you would be taking my body to where I requested my final resting place be. And…I told her of what happened to me when I was a child.’

Sebastian’s head whipped to stare at him, shocked.

‘I told her that I had lived with those memories for too long, and that I was ashamed I would never be able to be intimate with her because of them.’ He slipped his hand into Sebastian’s, black-nailed fingers linking through black-nailed fingers. The contract seal was gone, from both Sebastian’s hand and his eye. They didn’t need it anymore, not where they were going. ‘I wanted her to know that it had nothing to do with her as to why I wouldn’t be physically affectionate.’

Sebastian said nothing, squeezed his hand. Everything was dark, but Ciel found he could see for miles, eyes sharper than a hawk and able to see the smallest details. Each leaf on the bushes below them was clear and defined, every crack in the paving stones as visible as a chasm spanning miles wide. The stars were bright, once too blinding to see what made them, but as he focused on them, his vision appeared to zoom in, and he could see the floating particles, the gases that made them burn bright and appear so mesmerising to his old human eyes. He wondered what it would look like to stare at the sun like this, watching the swirl of atoms and molecules dance. Everything should have been a storm to the senses, explosive and overwhelming—Sebastian had warned he may wish for death at the sudden ability to perceive so much more—but instead, he was simply filled with curiosity. He was immortal. The Earth could implode under his feet, and he would simply float through the endless expanse of space, drift across the known universe into the unknown and beyond, living until the end of time itself.

The memory of the hunters, and the cult, before them felt like a indiscernible speck of dust on the landscape of his mind in that second. A thousand lifetimes and more lay ahead of him, and he refused to let them define him for any longer than they already had. He turned to Sebastian fully, hands creeping up around his neck. Their lips met several times, soft and gentle and sweet.

He pulled back, smile wide. ‘It’s time.’

Sebastian didn’t hesitate in picking him up like he once had, lifting him easily and cradling him in his arms. They kissed once more, foreheads coming together for a moment, then turned to step off the edge of the roof. Ciel waited for the thud to the ground, but it never came; they slipped through the grassy surface of the lawn, sinking slowly through the ground and the crust below over the course of hours.

When they finally touched down to the Earth’s core, Ciel Phantomhive and Sebastian Michaelis disappeared from existence.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed!


End file.
